Weight Loss

Remember that one time I posted about joining WW and being all excited.

Yeah. I lost that excitement and now I’m trying to conquer my feeling like a failure. My husband is going to looks all hot and fit and here I am 6 pounds HEAVIER than when he left. Yikes. There is so much emotional baggage behind my weight that I’m wondering if I should see someone to get past it.

How do you learn from your eating mistakes? How do you find the energy to start, One More Time?

I know I have to do it, but I don’t know if I can fail again.

What a debbie downer post.


Jacob’s at Basic

This is the day that we have been planning for. I really don’t know how I feel about it right now.

Honestly, I look forward to having more money then what we’ve been working with. 😛 Crass, but *oh so* truthful.

I will be blogging more. Now that Peter has a steady bedtime and more alone time.

Right now as I struggle with a 2 year old cuddle with Peter I will just leave you with a quick picture of our family photo we got last week.


Also, today is the 70th Anniversary of the Pearl Harbor Attack and it’s bring a special meaning to me now that Jacob’s in the service. ::Remembering the Souls and the lives that were changed forever::

One car

::yawn:: It’s 5:26 AM. For someone who enjoys the morning snuggle in bed, being out of bed this early is almost painful.

I agreed to sub a half day today (AM). Then a couple days later Jacob said that he was working too. (sidenote: why is it always up to the woman to find childcare?)

I asked my Mom and she’s busy today. Waited a couple more days for magic idea, and nothing. Mom’s still busy and we are both still working.

Last night I called up my older brother and asked if he wants to spend the morning with Peter. Luckly, for us, it’s his day off and he’s happily able to hang with Peter. Big bonus is Peter is really excited to hang out with Uncle Ninja today.

Jacob and I were getting ready for bed last night when the biggest obstacle showed up.

Umm.. Jacob works at 5 AM. I work at 7:45 AM. How are we both getting into work with ONE car? We don’t have a bus system here (I laugh when I type it), it’s not even close.

That leaves with waking Peter up and taking him in to drop off Jacob, then seeing if he will go back to bed until I want him to get up. OR leaving him home and putting the baby monitor upstairs, so my Mom can hear him if he wakes up. The only reason why option 2 was questionable is that my Mom can sometimes sleep through things.

We picked option 2. Knowing that I would be gone 15 minutes was helpful. Turned out okay. Peter was still sleeping when I left and my Mom ended up getting up at 4:50 because of what she had to do today, so she was up and around.

So while taking Jacob into work I realized, I don’t want to go through an Iowa winter with no heat in the car! Brr! First bigger paycheck from Jacob being in Basic, I’m totally getting the car fixed! And I need to whip out the winter coats!



Quick Peter Cuteness

It’s Drill Weekend and Peter and I are laying in bed for nap time. He weaned mid-September of this year. This is our little conversation.
Peter, smiling sweetly: I want some Momma Milk.
Me: Oh. I think Momma Milk is all gone now.
Peter: AHhh. Dannng it!
Then he rolls out of bed and goes to play with some toys.

57 days

I just counted it out. 57 days until Jacob leaves. Sounds like a long time.


57 days = 8 weeks

57 days = 4 pay periods

57 days, long enough to attend a 5 week Bible Study class with Jacob.

57 days, long enough to go on one more family vacation.

57 days, long enough to figure out travel plans while he’s gone.

57 days, too long to really have Peter fully explain when Daddy is leaving, why, and when he will come back.

57 days of co-parenting until he leaves.


57 days pales in the 260 days that Jacob will be gone.

Sometimes I know and understand that Jacob being gone at Basic and Tech school is nothing when you think about family members going off for a year deployment and facing danger. Jacob should be safe the time he’s gone. I take comfort in that today.



Moving Again?

We may have found a house to rent for the next year. It would actually be rent-free (WHEN does that happen?!), and we would do some work on the house (written down before moving in).

Right now we are going over pros and cons of moving to a place of our own before Jacob leaves, or staying with my parents and saving money. I have to say, moving out is really tempting today.

ICAN two


Tuesday, I attended my second meeting of ICAN of Central Des Moines. I came to the first meeting ready to run or pass out from having to say out-loud that Peter was an emergency c-section and I left on almost a high.

Tuesday… I didn’t want to attend. I remember the excitement I had when I left the meeting, but I was still weary. We already had some emotional things happen this week, and I wasn’t sure if I was ready to handle it.

Thank goodness my Mom is my mom. Jacob didn’t want to drive the 1.5 hours to the meeting, and frankly neither did I! I wanted an out and was looking for one. My mom said, that she would watch Jacob and that (pretty much) she was making me attend the meeting. She’s my Momma and she still knows what’s best for me (apparently. 😉 ) Now the only way I could sneak out was going to Des Moines and just going shopping for several hours.

I knew once I was there I would be fine, but I was anxious about again telling Peter’s story. I thought if I went alone I would get all the way to Des Moines and then hang out at the library until the meeting was over! I explained to Jacob my fear and he said he would come for support.

Jacob and I talked about all the stuff we needed to talk about (it was a good talk) on the way up. He walked inside with me and high-fived me as I turned to go into the meeting. ::This makes me wish that we dated in college, he would have walked me to class::

I wasn’t as fearful this meeting. I was able to take deep breathes while the introductions were made, and I made mine without freaking out mentally. I was asked towards the end if I had any questions, and I didn’t. I checked out FIVE books from their library to review and take in.

I did learn two new things from this meeting: 1) Because I pushed with Peter the next labor will be a traditional length second pregnancy. I thought I would have another typical longer first birth experience again.  SUPER exciting news to me.  2) Peter was posterior. I didn’t learn this until much much later. Tuesday I learned that it’s super hard to give birth to a posterior baby on your back (like I was told to do). Most woman will have to push for a long time with posterior babies (I pushed 3-4 hours) and if I have another baby that is posterior, there are actions I can take to help move him!

I also made new friend who’s husband joined the military after they were married and is willing to be another support for me. She also lives 30 minutes away from Hometown, so we can have playdates sometime! I was also given a number to an ICAN member who lives in Rural Hometown. The name sounded really familiar to me, but I can’t place her. So I’ll be calling her later today to talk to her about her c-section and then her other three births. Then share about Peter’s birth.

I was also given contact of a midwife who would do home-births for VBAC moms! I’m making an appointment with her to talk about fears, Jacob’s reservations about a home-birth, and information/research I can give to people how are questioning having a home-birth or even a VBAC. I plan on making an appointment soon!