Phone Calls

Today is the first day that Jacob can call us. It’s 5:30 pm and I’ve checked and rechecked my phone. Is it on? Volume up all the way? It’s nerve-racking.

I guess I expected him to call earlier. Now I’m having thoughts like, what happens if his phone doesn’t work and I didn’t add on minutes like I was supposed to. AGH!

I have a feeling that I will be on pins and needles until he calls. Hopefully today. Or I may cry.

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Today was Rough

…For me. Peter was great.

I cried over every little detail. I had to move the carseat from my mom’s car to our car. I realized while putting it in that I ALWAYS have trouble putting it our car and Jacob always finishes it for me. So this morning when the weather is cold, I’m struggling with the carseat while Peter screams in fun terror when the kitties come closer to him. He climbs inside the car (it’s a small two door), and promptly loses his balance and falls out backwards. Thankfully he fell on his bottom and he said it was scared and not hurt.

But I was traumatized. Seriously. So I’m struggling, Peter’s playing when the kittens, and I realize: This is my reality. While I know it’s not forever or even a full year. It’s a long time. I ended up putting the carseat on the side, instead of the middle. The side I can do fine, for some reason it’s the middle that screws me up.

It’s fine, Peter’s fine, and I’m crying.

I decide to go to Subway and treat myself to a healthy lunch. We go in and order without problems, Peter wants to stay and eat but we are going over to a friend’s house. Fine. He rolls with the punches. On the way out I see an old friend (this is my Hometown, after all). She asks how I’m doing and I smile and say, “Fine. Today has been tear free” pointing at Peter. She looks at me weird and I realized that she doesn’t know that Jacob left for Basic. I tell her and then she asks, “Oh. How are things going?” I BURST into tears. I hate crying in public. I stutter out, “I guess I can’t talk about it.” She nods and holding Peter’s hand I walk to the car.

(Also my glasses, which were on the last leg, broke. I’m squinty and have a vague headache from it.)

Earlier today Peter asked, “Where’s Daddy?” I was able to say, “Remember, Daddy got on the airplane and is learning how to fix the airplanes. He’s not going to be home for a long time, but he’s safe.” He nods his head, “Okay.”

And that’s it. It’s that simple for him today.

Sometimes I have to image myself laying in God’s hands (like a bed), I see Jesus as my blanket, the Holy Spirit giving me a breeze (warm or cool). I pretend the Blessed Mother is stroking my hair like my Momma does when I was little and sick. I just have to remember God knows what I’m going to go through. God opened this path for us to Trust in him to follow.

I’m following God today and it was hard. I offer up my suffering in union with the Suffering of Jesus on the Cross.

Jacob’s at Basic

This is the day that we have been planning for. I really don’t know how I feel about it right now.

Honestly, I look forward to having more money then what we’ve been working with. 😛 Crass, but *oh so* truthful.

I will be blogging more. Now that Peter has a steady bedtime and more alone time.

Right now as I struggle with a 2 year old cuddle with Peter I will just leave you with a quick picture of our family photo we got last week.

 

Also, today is the 70th Anniversary of the Pearl Harbor Attack and it’s bring a special meaning to me now that Jacob’s in the service. ::Remembering the Souls and the lives that were changed forever::