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Family Ties

The other day, I visited with my friend/cousin (was and still is a friend and she married my cousin) she has a one year old, Katie. We put the kiddos in the stroller and strolled around town. I was so out of breath and tired… by the second block. ::blushes:: I’m acknowledging I’m so out of shape, but am doing something about it now.

We strolled for a visit to my Grandma. My Grandma plays favorites with the Grandkids, and neither my cousin (and therefore his wife/kid), nor myself are included in the favorites. Actually out of 9 grandkids, she only interacts with 2 on a regular basis. Also meaning that the 2 that she likes, she also does things with, buys things for the kids of those 2. I’ve accepted it, but I don’t like to visit AT ALL, because of this.

Peter’s two. There was a loud train that goes past her house, we were outside, so I asked Peter to count the train trailers. He counted: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 18, 18, 18, 18 (prompted) 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 27, 28, 29 (prompted) 30, 31, 32.
Call me crazy, but that’s amazing for a TWO year old. All my Grandma said was, “Favorite’s 4 year old can count to 13, but then he stops. I don’t think it’s important for kids to be able to count this young.”

Now, really. I don’t sit there and drill Peter to count. If fact, they only time we count something is when we see it while playing. Birds, flowers, cars, trains, toys… these are the things we count. He is just interested.

I know that she thought, by Peter just counting on his own. That we were some how judging the parental skills of her favorite. ::I GET IT:: She then feels like she has to stand up for them. But is gets annoying fast and why should I spend time with someone, who doesn’t interact and ignores my child, just because we are related by blood?


Is there a point when you can walk away from a relationship? Blood is always there, but should a one way relationship remain, just because one day Grandma will die, and I may regret (or my child will regret) the time missed with Grandma. Or am I doing Peter a favorite by not making him give give give, with no return?


Socially, I know it’s acceptable to cut ties… Religiously, I feel like I continue to butt up against this behavior. Maybe it can be a good learning experience for Peter… When he’s older and better equipped to understand why Grandma is the way she is.

What do you think?


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