We are moving!

I won’t be able to post for the next couple days. We are on the MOVE!

Pray for us! We have a lot of changes! I will be taking some pictures of the new ‘home’ once we get settled.


St. Joseph, intercede on our behalf, have today be a smooth move!


Quick shout out

My stomach has been fine… but I also haven’t been eating much. If fact, I’m well on my way of losing that baby toddler weight. I’ve lost 12 pounds in 10 days. Not healthy, not my way of doing it, but it’s keeping the attacks at bay. I can’t have another one before we move TOMORROW!!

As I type this Jacob is getting a head start on loading the U-Haul. He’s out there now loading up totes. What a man. It’s still hot, Hot, HOT! Hopefully the rain will cool us off a little.

I look around at the apartment. I remember the day we moved in and how Peter toddled and fell with tiny steps. Now he’s jumping and running and growing up so quick.


Bittersweet, moving on.

Milk for Thought ~Our breastfeeding Journey

Milk for Thought is a new online breastfeeding community ~connecting moms, giving information, and offering support. They came through Topeka, KS this past Sunday! I was one of the mom’s picked to talk about my breastfeeding journey! How exciting! How thrilling! How sick I was! I’m super sad I had to miss it, but still want to get the word out about it.

Man, I even practiced in front of the mirror (public speaking still scares me ~don’t judge me. haha).

Since I wasn’t able to be interviewed I wanted to share what I was going to say here. With you.


My breastfeeding journey didn’t start out easy, happy, or even in a peaceful environment, but after struggles and finding support we are still breastfeeding.

My son, Peter, was born by emergency c-section. While in recovery, I was told he had to have formula to stabilize his sugars. My husband gave Peter is first bottle, before I even saw him.

The first time I tried to breastfeed was so painful. Not his latch (thankfully that was good) but trying to lay him across my stomach, over the staples made me feel like I was going to die from the pain. I was shown the football hold and we started from there. Since Peter was given formula, his stomach was bigger than it should have been. I didn’t know this. I just thought I failed again. Not being able to give birth to my son, not being able to keep my son from being hungry.

We left the hospital with sugar water and formula, if needed. I would nurse Peter and supplement. Peter cluster fed at night. I would sit in my chair and nurse him for two hours. He wasn’t full, so we would supplement with an ounce. Then when he would wake up in the middle of the night, I would breastfeed him and we would again supplement. Then again during the day, if needed. The only reason why I didn’t quit then was the support of my husband, my mother, and my aunt. They did so many things for me at that time, so I could concentrate on breastfeeding, with bonding with Peter.

Day after day, I felt like I was failing. I wasn’t producing enough milk. When Peter was 6 months old we moved to another state, Topeka, KS. My sister-in-law wanted to go to a La Leche League meeting (LLL) and wanted it know if I would go with her (her son is a month younger than Peter).

I was still supplementing Peter, now up to 4 ounces, two or three times a day. When I went to the first La Leche League meeting, I told the highlights of our story. The leaders of the meeting cried with me, helping me understand ~what happened to me was wrong, it shouldn’t have happen. Then they armed me with the knowledge to fight and find courage to continue breastfeeding. Within a month I was able to stop supplementing. Yes, it was tough. Yes tears were still cried. It was hard, but I did it. We did it.

There were still ups and downs, but never as low as before. Peter and I successfully breastfed, we did it. He’s 28 months and he’s still breastfeeding. We still go to LLL meetings. He’s in the process of weaning and I’m okay with it. At one time I didn’t know if we would get through the day, but we did.

I thought breastfeeding was going to be easy and naturally going to happen. It can. I encourage all pregnant mothers to go to LLL meeting before they give birth. Get information before hand, have the knowledge I was given before you actually need it. Just because breastfeeding is natural, doesn’t mean it will be easy.

Peter and I would not be still breastfeeding without the support I found in the Mothers who are the LLL leaders, and I would still feel like a failure. I know now I’m not, and I know now I can do it. The healing I received from being successful breastfeeding is almost indescribable. I encourage any mothers who had a traumatic birth, and because of that, trouble breastfeeding, to find help. There are mothers out there willing to help! I did it, and so can you.

To find your nearest La Leche League you can go to: www.LLLI.org

The Weather for the move

Forecast of RAIN!

I’ll take a 30* chance of rain and low 90’s, over 105* and no rain!

Rain on move day is good luck, right? Right?! I love rain, and having it rain is really okay with me. Especially since it’s been over 100 every day for two weeks!



Things not planned. ::sigh::

Jacob and I went to bed at midnight. I woke up at 1:30 with gallbladder pain. I instantly started to cry. I didn’t want to go through this again. I got up and tried the apple cider vinegar with apple juice and lemon juice. It didn’t taste as bad as I thought! I then threw up. Not much. I got on the internet again just to double check. Nothing different. I was just going to have to go through it again.

I was able to go until 3 without waking up Jacob. I wanted him to rub my back again, but I couldn’t stay in one place. The pain was different then the other times. I had a stabbing pain every.time.I took a breath. Even if I was breathing as shallow as I could.

At 4, I cried and asked Jacob to take me to the ER. I couldn’t stand it any more. He got Peter’s stuff ready and took the dog out. I walked sllllowly down the two flights of stairs and to the car. Jacob brought up the tail with Peter, who was still sleeping soundly. Jacob dropped me off at the door and I signed in. I thought it went really slow, but it probably didn’t. The longest wait for me was for the doctor to check me. I was given an IV. They tried in my arm, dug around, and apparently my veins flip or move. I have never given blood before or had an IV in my arm, so I didn’t know. The nurse then moved to my hand and got the IV in. She came told me that there were about 4 people in front of me and she was going to ask the doctor to gave me something to ‘take the edge off’. It took a little bit but she came back.

Drugs. Relief.

She said it would take the edge off, and it did. It backed the pain away from the crying sobbing 10, to a 6. It mostly hurt under my right rib. That quick shot lasted 20 minutes. I rang for the nurse, I wasn’t willing to be in pain anymore, I’m not going to lie. She said the doctor couldn’t give me anything without seeing me. I understood. The doctor came in 10 minutes later. He pushed around my stomach (NOT FUN) and agreed that it was gallbladder attack. I was given some pain meds again. Then he said that he was going to wait until 7 to order my ultrasound, because it would cost me less, and it would take them a half an hour to get in and it was worth the wait by that time.

Peter was a trooper the whole time. Jacob was a rock! I was able to close my eyes and rest. I may have slept, but not long or hard. Peter and Jacob went into the Family room that was right next to my room and watch cartoons. Jacob would come in with Peter every time someone would come in the room.

Jacob was mentally preparing himself for me having emergency surgery. I didn’t remotely care if I was going to have surgery or not. I felt done. If it had to happen, it had to happen.

The pain started to get more intense before I was to go to the ultrasound (it was around 8 am and the pain was about at an 8 too). I was given a different pain relief. And this almost took the pain away completely. I was worried about going to the ultrasound with the pain because I knew they would have to dig around to get pictures. So I was happy the pain was taken down to a 3. It also made me really hot! I asked for a fan and they gave me one, and a blanket.

I had Jacob and Peter stay and watch TV while I went down the the ultrasound. I was given a blood pressure cuff and an pulse ox. I was already in the hospital, no back gown and I think it was too much of a flashback to going into surgery with Peter for Jacob. He cried and said it a lot like the c-section. I told him to call his brother to come and get Peter. They got there right after I got back from the ultrasound, and Peter was sleeping.

Jacob told Peter outside and talked to his brother and sister in law. They were going to take Peter to breakfast and back to their house, and then just bring him back to our place at noon, if we were home.

We waited for the ultrasound results and I slept. A new doctor came in and told us that it was gall stones and that I needed to change my diet to low-fat food and nothing greasy or fried. I remember that I kept being asked what I had for supper and it was homemade chicken pot pie. I tried to think what else could have started the attack and the only thing I can think of was having three cookies that day. Darn those Keebler Elves!

I was really shaky and dizzy and sitting in the car and having the pain meds wearing off, I was starting to be in pain again. The longest attack to date! OUCH! Jacob helped me get up the stairs (all 26 of them) and I laid down, in my frog position, in front of the fan. He was going to run to the store and get my prescription of pain pills. I fell asleep hard in front of the fan with a blanket. I woke up to Jacob coming in the door. Poor guy. He forgot the prescription. I told him that the pain was mostly gone and we could get it later. I moved to the couch and went back to sleep.

Peter came back at Noon. Happy as a clam, but a little discombobulated. I told Stella (my SIL) that I wasn’t sure if I was going to make it to the BIG IMPORTANT event that was happening. I would call her by 2 to let her know.

I went back to sleep. I woke up and checked the time. Almost 2. I wanted to try to take a shower. I got up and instantly I had a bad headache, shaky, and thought I was going to throw up. I laid back down. Sorrowful, I texted Stella and told her I couldn’t make it. I was bummed out, but was still out enough that I couldn’t do anything.

I went back down to sleep in bed. Woke up around 3. Then at 4:40 we all laid down to watch “Flushed Away”. Jacob (who was up since three) was the first one to fall asleep. Peter was the next to go a couple minutes later. I followed as soon as I felt Peter fall asleep on me. We slept the whole movie!

Jacob and I talked about it and decided that I should fast and not eat anything to let me stomach have a break. Thankfully, I wasn’t hungry! And my stomach was so sore, I couldn’t eat anyway.

After Jacob and Peter ate, I went back to bed!! I was so tired! I was woken up a couple times to give kisses and to hold Peter’s hand while Jacob changed his diaper, but otherwise slept.

I woke up at 5:30 feeling refreshed and a little sore, but ready to take on the day. Peter was up and wanted to go eat. So I got breakfast around, ate some cereal, make food for the crock-pot, took a shower, and prepped lunch. Jacob woke up around 7:30. Peter had a poopy diaper and wanted Jacob to change him, not me. (I’m fine with that!) I ran some errands, came back, put things away.

THEN WENT BACK TO BED. I was so tired again. I was shaky again and hot. I woke up a little over an hour later. Jacob had to get ready for work. I get tired easily today, and will just try to pack one box. I am also waiting on Peter to take nap, so I can sleep too. 🙂


My new thing: Gallbladder attacks

You know when you are super busy and then BAM!!! you get hit like a bus with something?

Monday I woke up to upper stomach pain. Jacob was at work and Peter (thankfully) was really well behaved. It started around 6 or so. I was able to sleep through it (with Peter) until Peter woke up around 8. Then it started getting back. Jacob was due to get off work at Noon and so I was going to try to make it until then.

However, by 10:30, I thought I was dying. I called Jacob and begged him to get off work early. He was home in a half an hour (11 am). Between 10:30 and 11 I had my peak of pain. Alone, with Peter. And by this time Peter was hungry. I threw a juice box, crackers and cheese at him until Jacob could feed him better and put in another kids movie. I was able to offer up my pain for a personal intention. Afterward, I questioned offering it up for that specific intention, wondering if it caused more pain to happen. 😉

Jacob was on the phone from 11 to 12 trying to find someone that takes our insurance. We don’t have a provider because we’ve never needed health-care and mainly got it for emergencies and Peter. I was :this: close to asking him to take me to the ER when the pain started to back off. Then I fell asleep for 3 hours and felt weak and almost hungover for the rest of the day.

That morning I made an appointment with the chiropractor, thinking maybe something was wrong with my back?! Jacob drove me to the appointment and dropped me off (Jacob and Peter went to the Toy Store to play). I talked to the Chiropractor and he showed me where to push under my ribs to see if it was a gallbladder attack or not. If it is: the pain is so intense you want to jack the person that touched  you. If it doesn’t hurt like that, it’s probably not the gallbladder. He then did his amazing stuff and unlocked my hip from it’s socket (it happens from time to time) and adjusted the rest of my back.

I saw a poster and ask randomly asked (God Breeze), “can you see if I have a broken tailbone (or coccyx)?” He said, sure. With just a few almost embarrassing moves, he was able to tell me that I did indeed have a broken coccyx. Instead of curving, my was at a sharp 90* angle. I forget, until I have pain, how much my tailbone hurt after Peter was born. And since I had a c-section, I was sitting down a lot. It still causes me pain if I sit for a extended period of time, and on almost any car trip. Just another drop in the bucket to help me process Peter’s birth more.

My mom told me the next day that my sister (three states away) had a gallbladder attack that same time and went to the ER for it.

THEN yesterday happened.

I went to bed too late, around 1:30. At 3:30 I awoke with stomach pain. I didn’t assume it was a gallbladder attack, as I have other stomach issues, but when I couldn’t get comfy in bed and then realized that OH NO IT’S ANOTHER GALLBLADDER ATTACK, and it’s at night. I was able to surf the web to look for ways to stop it online, before the pain started to get too intense. I woke up Jacob, waved him into the hallway (Peter took my spot and wakes up easily). I tearfully said that I was having another gallbladder attack. We went into the living room and he looked online for help and I tried (unsuccessfully) to find a spot that stopped the pain. I then asked Jacob to pray over me and with me. I then laid in a frog-like position, with my stomach barely grazing the floor and my knees spread far far apart, and asked him to rub my back in a small area. Every once in a while I would try a new position, but couldn’t stay in it for very long and went back to the frog/Jacob rubbing position. I could concentrate on his movements and not about the pain.

Peter woke up around 6 and Jacob changed his diaper, got him water and a cheese stick and Curious George to watch. Jacob then continued rubbing me.

The pain started to intensify and sharpen. I pulled a blanket over my head and upper body and proceed to sob and cry. Jacob continued his rubbing and started to say the Rosary for me. I was offering up my suffering for my sister. I remember to pray before the peak and after the peak. During the peak I just tried to concentrate of Jacob’s hand on my back. The peak lasted longer then last time, lasting as long as a Rosary (about 20 minutes). After I peaked Jacob took care of Peter and the dog again (Peter was in the same room as us). I was moving to get out from under the blanket and I heard Peter say, “where’s Mama?” and when I got out from under it he proudly said, “Here she is!” It made me smile.

I walked and hummed around our apartment for a while. The weirdest thing is before the peak the pain was right under my right rib and back and after the peak of pain it was more central and lower. There is just felt like I was kicked or hit in the stomach. It was semi-hard to get my breath. Jacob took my temp several times and checked the color of my eyes, make sure we didn’t need to go to the ER. Indicating infection and treatment needed.

We still haven’t received calls back from the several Doctor’s offices from Monday. We are just going to wait until we are moved and find a doctor there.

We have several remedies to try next time if I have another gallbladder attack. Mine attacks are strange in the way I didn’t overeat, eat spicy food or even fatty food. We are still trying to pin point what is causing it to happen. Apparently it is hereditary and the woman in my family have all had problems with it starting at this age!! I find that amazing and interesting. My mom can control hers by diet and my Aunt and Grandma both had their gallbladder removed.

Needless to say, this isn’t what I thought I would be getting down this week!! I was pretty much worthless two days this week and haven’t been able to pack or clean! I’m feeling a little overwhelmed with what we have left to do. Tomorrow I will not be able to pack or clean and will be writing about the GREAT reason why tomorrow!

We MOVE in exactly one week. Wednesday we need to have the kitchen cleaned thoroughly and have to have everything packed up by Thursday. Friday we are moving everything down to the U-Haul and are cleaning Friday night and Saturday. Saturday we are actually moving from KS to IA.


Time keeps on ticking, into the future

I hear the clock tock louder then usual today. Every hour is one hour closer to moving. I started to hyperventilate think about it more. I am a planner and I confess, I made an excel spreadsheet about our move.

Dates left, Days Jacob works, Days we have a planned activity, and what I want to get done each day. I feel like a have a little more control after typing it all out.

Thankfully our apartment is not HUGE, but when moving it sure feels like it. Next Wednesday we are moving all our stuff to the dining room and the back of our living room. Leaving Peter’s room mostly untouched until the night before the move. We hope to move everything into the U-Haul Friday then have more time to clean Friday night and Saturday. We have a three page check off list of things to do before leaving. We will be going to Hometown to unload what we need, maybe drop Peter off at other set of Grandparent’s and go to take the rest of things to storage for a couple months.

Jacob has today off and I’m going to take advantage of it. We are going to go to Gage Park to ride the Mini-Train. Yesterday Peter told us: “Get Money, buy ticket, ride train!” We laughed so hard. He’s been talking about ‘his’ moneys and now I know why. He wants to get money to ride the train. ::So cute:: I’m loving this age! Then we are going to pack the rest of our bedroom (mostly done), do laundry for the last time here, the linen closet, and the bathroom.

We have been talking more and more about moving a couple times a day and how we are going to live with Grandma and Papa Bruce for a while. At this time, he seems okay with it. My sister-in-law will be watching Peter the day of the move. We are going to have him move some of his toys to the car he is riding in and also the U-Haul. He will then be whisked away so we can haul butt to get things done.

Pray for us as we get ready to move this week and next. I don’t know how much I’ll be writing. I have a couple things in drafts that I may flesh out to post while I’m moving.